Has your child shown signs of having a sense of entitlement?
My four-year-old daughter and I both had some BIG takeaways not too long ago when I realized this happening for the first time: a sense of entitlement. Let me be clear, this isn’t the first time it’s happened, it’s the first time I had an *aha* parenting moment where a light bulb turned on.
I’ll share with you what happened and how I turned my initial feeling of complete parenting failure to a feeling a complete parenting win? You can do this, too!
My daughter and husband were leaving for a daddy-daughter afternoon at the local indoor pool. My daughter wanted to take my iPad in the car so she could watch a show and I said no because I was going to be doing some work with my iPad while they were gone.
Can you guess what she did when I told her “No?” She lost it. She had a full-on, kicking and screaming temper tantrum because I told her she could not borrow my iPad on her car ride with daddy. When they were going to do something fun. for. her.
I felt like a complete failure as a mom.
I allowed my child to be so consumed with the iPad that when she couldn’t have it, she melted down?! That just did not make sense to me. While the TV is rarely on in our house, we do allow screen time in the form of watching YouTube or using the iPad, but seriously– NOT all the time! She probably watches it 2 hours on a day it’s the most amount of time and that includes one hour before bed each night. Sure, other parents have different rules and opinions of what limits should be but I do not feel like it’s a lot.
Let me get to the bottom line and reveal the outcome. What did I do? How did I respond?
I sat down next to her without saying a word for a few minutes while she was upset. I quickly, thoughtfully processed what was happening and what would be the most effective response from me. I didn’t say a word for 5 minutes until she started to calm down. She demanded the iPad again. I said, “You already asked for the iPad and I already gave you my answer.”
Four steps I took immediately to stop my daughters sense of entitlement
- I internally asked myself what my desired outcome was for the evolving situation.
- I did not waiver.
- I was consistent.
- I was prepared for the afternoon we’d planned to change because of what was happening. I wanted to change the path in front of me of my child developing a sense of entitlement.
I offer sympathy by saying, “There are times in life we all want something we simply cannot have but we get through it and life goes on.”
Related: Ways to Teach Your Child How To Be Kind
In the end, we made it through the event. That same night, I was giving her a bath and unprompted, my daughter said “I’m sorry for crying today, mommy. I know sometimes life is hard but we get through it.” My heart melted. I felt proud. I can’t say I always win at this parenting thing but last night I felt good.
Our job as parents it to teach our children how to be good people. I want my child to be a confident, well-balanced, well-adjusted contributor in this world. We all need a strong foundation and that starts at birth.
I also know we all do our best. Keep doin’ your best, mama. Be consistent and just do your best every day.
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