I believe it was a Wednesday when I spiraled out of control.  I was driving down the one main road that goes directly from our home to my daughter’s dance studio.  Today was different and sometimes when my routine changes, the unknown is what causes me to lose control.

This particular day, there would be a new dance teacher at dance camp; one I didn’t know well.  

I was stopped at a red light when an awful intrusive thought popped into my thoughts without warning and took control.

“What if a stranger is watching in the parking lot?  He has a gun in his car.  He is watching all the parents take their young children into this studio and leave them with one single adult.  That would be the perfect opportunity to…”

You can imagine how big the snowball got as that was only the beginning.  

This is what a mom with anxiety wants you to know

For me, it all started with postpartum depression.  When I had my baby, I became a mom with anxiety. My baby was born prematurely.  A NICU stay is not something I wish on my worst enemy. I was sick. My baby was sick.  At one point, the two of us were admitted at different hospitals at the same time.

As time went on, I became a stay-at-home mom with anxiety which is even worse because when you’re alone at home all day, you have so much time to think.

Here’s what I need you to know:

I didn’t choose anxiety. It chose me.

My brain does not function like people without anxiety.  Negative thoughts sometimes often attack my brain and spiral out of control.

I don’t want to feel this way.

Feeling anxious does not feel good.  I don’t want to feel this way.

Because of my anxiety, I’m mostly a helicopter mom.

Having anxiety is a feeling of being out of control.  My mind and heart race and the thoughts make me fearful of what I can’t control.  As a result, I try to control my child by doing everything I can to keep her safe.  I realize this is not the best way but right now, it’s my way, and not yours to worry about.  I’ll do me and you do you.

I’m working on it.

This is my problem to deal with and I’m working on it; both on my own and with a professional.  If you do happen to suffer from anxiety, I highly recommend cognitive behavior therapy (also known as CBT).  I’ve come so far as a result of CBT.

 

Stop judging me when you have never had to live this way.

Judging helps no one. A mom with anxiety needs kindness and support.  

You’re not an expert in being a mom with anxiety because if you are, you are definitely not judging me because you know what it’s like.

Related Parenting worries: tools you need now

Offer kind words.

While I don’t expect you to understand how it feels to be a mom with anxiety unless you are one too is empathy goes a long way.  If you have a relatable story about a time when you felt anxious, share it.  A human’s deepest need is to be understood.

On the contrary, the worst thing you could do is judge my anxious state.

 

Don’t minimize my feelings.

It’s easy when you have most of a normal functioning brain to say, “Don’t worry about x, y or z” or “calm down” or “it’s no big deal.”  I recognize it’s not a big deal to you BUT IT IS FEELING LIKE A BIG DEAL TO ME.

Don’t tell me to let it go.  If I could let it go, I would.

As I mentioned above, we don’t want to feel this way. If you have a helpful idea to combat these worried feelings, please, share it.  

• • Remind me to take deep breaths.

• • Ask if this is something I can worry about later and come back to the present now.
  • Help me focus on the present.

If you are a mom with anxiety or happen to know one, share this with her on Facebook by clicking on the Facebook button below!  When you have anxiety, you want others to understand.  Help them (or yourself) by sharing.

Pin this post to refer back to and share with friends who don’t understand.

Feel free to leave a comment below.  What do you want your friends to know about anxiety?