How to Host a Playdate: Proven Ideas that Work

I’ve always preferred and thus made it our norm, to host playdates at my house. Because of this, I’m sharing with you best practices for hosting a successful playdate!

Define Expectations Ahead of Time

Children should not have to be forced to share toys. Put toys or other items away in a closet or out of sight that your child does not want to share with her friends.

Afterwards, make it clear that any toys that have not been put away are available for any child who wishes to play with them.

Let your child know what will happen if behavior becomes too challenging.

I can remember several times when I felt out of control during a situation when my young daughter was melting down or misbehaving. I didn’t have a plan ahead of time and as a result, I waffled with how to respond.

Here are some things I have done and didn’t work. Consequently, I do not recommend:

• Threaten to not have future playdates
• Take her into another room for a break/timeout
• Allow my stress level to rise because I don’t know what to do
• Become embarrassed because my adult friend thinks my kid is “bad”

The best thing you can do to avoid making the mistakes I listed above is to first, let your child know what to expect. If behavior becomes an issue, our friends are going to have to leave.

Tell your mom friend ahead of time (not in front of the children– and for this I usually text my friend): “We are currently working on behavior and consequences. Because of this, I want to let you know before you get here, if our playdate is challenged with a behavior that we can’t seem to recover from, we will have to end our playdate.”

By doing this you are doing several good things.

• Setting boundaries
• Giving her the best possibility of success by defining what a successful playdate will look like and what it will not
• Keeping yourself from feeling some negative feelings that come from being unprepared (such as embarrassment, frustration and/or anger)

Decide Ahead of Time if You Will Have Food at Your Playdate

When you’re thinking about how to host a playdate, you’ll want to figure out if it will be a no-food get together or if snacks or a meal will be offered.

Offering lunch to our friends who are coming over makes me feel good. By doing this, it makes the day a little bit lighter for the other mom. If our friends eat lunch with us, I’ve likely freed up a minimum of 30 minutes or more, for my friend.

Now, she doesn’t have to go home to figure out what they’re going to have for lunch, make it and clean up. This is especially helpful if our children are of the napping age.

If you are going to offer food, be it a full meal or just snacks, be certain to ask about dietary restrictions ahead of time. You never know what a child or person might be allergic to. I have a friend with a son who has an allergy to garlic. He had an Anaphylaxis reaction to garlic particles in the air he inhaled during a cooking demonstration.

Don’t Micromanage the Children

Playdates allow children to develop their social skills. In order to do this, they need time and space to play with their peers. If you’re telling them what to do and how to respond to each other, they’re not learning anything except that grown-ups are bossy and they need someone else to intervene at all times.

Another benefit to allowing children to figure things out on their own is that you’re building trust. You’re indirectly saying, “I trust you can figure this out without me telling you what to do.”

Instead, when considering how to host a playdate, remain nearby and only intervene if they’ve made a few attempts to resolve a dispute on their own or if someone is at risk of getting hurt.

Do Not Make a Child Share a Toy They’re Actively Playing with

Instead, teach children to say, “May I have a turn when you’re done playing with that?”

As adults, we don’t demand others hand something over to us and likewise, children should be treated the same. Don’t let what you think other adults believe your child should do, dictate what you make your child do. Besides, no one likes to be “should’ on.

Ensure the Play Space is Childproof

There would be nothing worse than a bookshelf falling on a child. Or, someone sticks a fork in an electrical socket when you’re not looking because it did not have outlet covers.

Read next: Problem with Moms Judging Other Moms

Pick Friends to Invite for Playdates Wisely

Finally, when considering how to host a playdate, it’s a good idea to chose little friends with similar temperaments. This decision could lead to fewer disagreements and thus, a low-stress, more enjoyable get together.